Let's Try Something Crazy
by Breathtakingbeing
Summary: Zero Kiryu and Yuuki Cross have always been by each others side but when Yuuki starts to realize the different kind of love she has for Zero she wont look at him the same. She is too shy to tell Zero how she really feels, maybe a little game could help her along with her confession. But what she doesnt know is that Zero feels the exact same way about her.
1. Him, only him

_**A/N: ****Heavily Edited******_

 _ **Hello all, thank you for reading my first ever fanfic. My story is comes from the heart and mind, there is no inbetween at this point. I'm hoping that all of you who choose to read my story is excited as much as I am. First off, the characters are more on the OC side. I am NOT going to keep the characters I use in the personality they are assigned. Kind of out of the box if you will. Secondly, my stories I type will vary . Some chapters will be bursting with details and others not so much. Thirdly, please BE WARNED I will be touching up to the chapters as I go along. Please bare with me. I like to add on or change as the story goes on.**_

 _ **Please review as much as possible. And more than one review is welcomed. I am doing this to work on my writing and testing my skills as I go on the wonderful journey.**_

 _ **Thank you for reading and enjoy!**_

Butterflies, hearts, and flowers... Those type of things always come to mind when I think of him. But those aren't usually his types of 'things', but a girl can dream right. Well, with Zero everything is kept in line or under control, so he doesn't show any kind of emotion. I mean there are times where I don't know if he wants me around him or not. But then again I am really bad at reading other people's emotions. I never really know when someone actually likes me or if it's a joke, but what does it matter. I only want one person, and I'm still unsure if my attraction for him is a good thing. My love is changing and I don't know what to think about it. I'm not gonna lie, I notice more and more things about Zero everyday. For instance I like to look at Zero a lot, well more like stare at until he tells me to leave him alone. There is just something about him that stands out from the rest of the world. I can't help but admire his looks, he has the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen in my life. Amethyst colored eyes were unusual for anyone but on Zero they were beautiful. When he looks into my brown ones I feel like he is looking into my very soul. Almost like his soul is crying out to me, that he desperately wants to tell me something. Almost like he is trying to hide something from me and I don't like it.

If you pay close attention, his eyes will tell you how he is feeling at that very moment. But if he notices you trying to catch a glimpse, he shuts himself down and throws away every key. Even when he's mad at me, his eyes tell a different story. There are some good days where I see nothing but love and I can't help but stare into them. I know there's more to him than his stoic ways and that he can show a little bit of emotion I just haven't got to that point yet. One day I will but I want him to come to me on his terms. His mean stature always drives people away and his cold stare makes people uncomfortable. But he could even give me a sideways glance and my heart would burst with joy, sounds weird right. Yeah I'm still trying to understand it myself. To top it off Zero has the most soothing voice ever, almost like a deep velvet. When he speaks to me I can't help but melt a little on the inside. I could get lost in his voice and not have a care in the world. I love it when he has his days where he would talk non stop, but those days are getting a bit rare. now a days he usually scolds and lectures me, even then I still wouldn't have heard a single word he said. sometimes being a girl can be exhausting switching between emotions.

His silver hair is the most outstanding trait he has. He always tells me that he doesn't like me fascinating over his hair but on the inside I think he likes it. I bug him all the time about it, whether it's styling it or trying to get him to change the color. But everytime I do he starts to say "Don't be stupid Yuuki", but I can't help myself for feeling like I should guide him on how to fix his hair the way I like it. That's really kind of selfish of me to want that much from him, and I know that I can't have him all to myself. I'm not sure when I started noticing him as more than a friend but it was bound to happen one of these days. I mean we spend every moment together and basically know everything about each other. For instance I know that we are both pure and that he doesn't have the need to look for someone. Altho I play with the idea that someday he will choose me. Thinking about stuff like that always makes the butterflies jump around on the inside.

There is something that no one knows about Zero, not even Father. And for him to have that much trust in me to tell that is beyond me, I know that Zero absolutely hated sharing such personal things. Night terrors were his big secret, crazy right. But with the death of his parent and his twin brother, what person wouldn't have any traumatizing memories after that. That maybe the reason he has every emotion heavily guarded and stashed away. I like to think of myself as someone who saves him from drowning in his own misery. Someone who he secretly needs in order to function. But as of right now I can comfort him as much as I could. He does have just a small flaw about him, not once since I've met Zero, has he ever said thank you for anything I have done for him. I mean I really don't mind that but I just wish that he could show some kind of appreciation towards me. Until one evening after father went to sleep, I snuck into Zero's room just to check on him. That entire week he has been waking up from nightmares and coming to my room. So I figured, why not beat him to the punch and be in his room when he wakes up. In my head it was a great idea, but as soon as I opened his bedroom door, I seen him move around and he says my name. "Yuuki, what are you still doing up." He halfway mumbles to me. "Oh nothing just checking to make sure that your ok." I said quickly. Then he said it, as clear as day, "Thank you for checking on me Yuuki, at least someone loves me enough to make sure I'm still sane." He said it in a sarcastic kind of way but I knew he meant every word.

 _Several months later..._

Father gave me an assignment today, since Zero was nowhere to be found, that I had to supervise the switch over. Of course I had to agree and made my way towards the moon dorm entry. When it was time to open the gates and keep the ladies in line, everything went smoothly. After everybody went through I noticed Kaname was nowhere around so I figured he left early for a meeting no big deal. I turn around and was walking away when Kaname had all of a sudden appeared and stopped in front of me just 'to talk'. I slammed right into him, and was immediately embraced by his long arms, and honestly I think it was an excuse to touch me. I didn't even feel a slight blush in my cheeks and I was getting uncomfortable with him always trying something to embrace me. And come to think about it I thought it was odd that I felt that way when I was in his presence. Kaname grabbed my hand, pulling me out of my thoughts, and brought it up to his mouth and kiss each one of my fingers.

Speaking with a deep devilish tone he attempted to start a conversation that was bound to lead nowhere. "Why hello Yuuki, I have been thinking about you a lot here lately. I really don't understand why you stopped talking with me during the switch over. Is it because of Zero, he does seem to have your emotions up in a stir." Yeah Zero has my mind in a fog but I'm not going to tell Kaname that. "Kaname I just have a lot on my mind right now and everything seems to be in a jumble. So don't be upset if I am little off." I tried to let him down as easy as I could. Sometimes being well respected can get to his head, and him being told no was a rare occasion. "Oh Yuuki I really miss the way you use to be so open with me. I wonder what could have cause that change for you." Kaname's eyes changed to a deeper crimson color than before and I knew that he was aiming that statement towards Zero. Maybe he was catching on to my feelings towards Zero, it's not my fault that I prefer Zero over him. There was something about Kaname's attitude that I couldn't put my finger on, like a very dark secret that I wanted no part of. For being someone who I use to look up to, was turning into someone I didn't even know anymore.

"Well, Kaname you know I've been busy with patrols and school work. With the Headmaster depending on me and Zero to keep certain things kept under lock and key, I shouldn't let anything distract me from my duties. And with my grades starting to slip a little under where they need to be, I've been studying non stop, with Zero's help of course." Trying to be nice and say ' _I don't want anything to do with you'_ is getting kind of tricky. "I'm sorry I have been distant but you know the headmaster pushes to always have school comes first." I was nowhere interested in this conversation with him and I didn't care if he knew I was trying to withdraw myself. All of a sudden Kaname squeezed my hand, a little too hard for me to handle, and brought my fingers back up to his lips to kiss them once more. The only thing I could think of was ' _Oh God I don't want him touching me ever again.'_ My fingers felt like they were on fire after his lips glided across them. But I'm pretty sure I was just trying to be over dramatic. I felt the need to get away from him so without sounding rude I excused myself. I tried to come up with something other than 'I don't want to talk to you and don't want you around me anymore.' Kaname was starting to get a little too close to me and I need to think of something fast, so with a lame excuse I tried to tell Kaname that I needed to find Zero for an very important matter.

As if on cue Zero popped out of nowhere and cleared his throat very loudly. "Ahem, Yuuki is everything alright." He then headed towards us with a look of concern in his eyes. "Yuuki are you ok? You look a little sick." Zero said as he raised his hand to my forehead. As if to check my temperature and touched my cheeks lightly. "Its ok Zero I'm fine, I was just about to go looking for you. We have an important meeting with the headmaster." I said with a weak smile. "Well here I am, now let's get going. But Yuuki can you remind me of what the matter was again." He said with a smirk. I knew he was trying to get me wilded up so I narrowed my eyes at him. "Uh no I can not Zero, only because the Headmaster told me that you were the only one who knew what the meeting was about." I ended my rant with a slightly confused face to cover my ass. Kaname's face started to filled with anger, I'm guessing that he caught on to me not wanting to be around him. I tried to be unnoticable so I used my eyes to alert Zero that I didn't want to be there. "Oh yeah I know what is was about, well we better get going before the Headmaster starts looking for us." He said with an urgent tone. That was a sign for me to wave over my shoulder and bid Kaname farewell, by the look of Kaname storming off, I'm pretty sure I really pissed him off to no end.

I nudged Zero's arm and ushered him away from where we were standing. Trying to distance myself from Kaname as fast as I could. After we got a bit further away from Kaname and I knew he wouldn't be able to hear our conversation I whispered to Zero. "Gee thanks Zero I was getting kinda uncomfortable back there." Not meaning to, I literally shook myself from that awkward conversation. "No problem Yuuki, but tell me. Why all of a sudden does Kaname seem so foreign to you. I thought he was your savior after all these years." Zero stated with absolutely no emotion. "There is just something about him that has changed recently and I don't know how to process that. And plus nothing really seems like it use to be." When I said that to Zero I felt unsure of myself, but I knew that I didn't want to be around Kaname anymore. He was getting to mature for me to handle. "Well I guess you are going to have to find someone else to be madly in love with, and I don't mean me." Zero said with a very small smile and a chuckle. And me being me, I tried to be funny right back. Only to embarrass myself more than I wanted. "I don't hold any promises Zero." As soon as I said that I went into shock. Zero's face went to a kind of straight, no emotion, face and I quickly laughed it off and gave him a smirk. "Uh ok." was the only thing I heard from Zero. He turned slightly away from me, when I looked at him I seen his cheeks had a slight red tint to them. ' _Awe how cute I made him blush.'_ is all I could think. Zero cleared his throat once again. "Ahem, Ok Yuuki as long as you can handle any situation with Kaname I'll leave it alone. But if you ever need me, and I mean for anything, please let me know. Don't try to take him on yourself because he is more powerful than you and I don't want you to get hurt." His face was soft but his voice was stern and I nodded in agreement.

After we walked around the campus searching for anyone who was out, Zero's hand began to lightly brush past mine when he would swing his hand back and forth. I never noticed that he was slowly getting closer to me, don't worry I didn't mind it at all, but with that brief contact I swear I felt my whole body heat up like a furnace. Zero was never the one to make the first move. I kind of like that about him, how unpredictable he was, though sometimes it would be nice to know his next move. After telling him that I was uncomfortable around Kaname now, it was like something sprung alive in him that I have never seen before. As we continued to walk around campus, I happened to look up at Zero while he was scanning the empty grounds. ' _Oh my god'_ was the only thing I could think of when he looked down at me, his hair slightly shaded his eyes, it a mysterious kind of way. Something about his smile just shook my heart at that moment. As I was looking back at him I couldn't help myself, I reached for his arm and intertwined my arm with his. As if I needed him to anchor me down or I would float away. I could feel him loosen up and letting me fall into his tall frame. For a short moment in time I was completely happy, and with someone who I never thought I would end up loving. Then reality came crashing down and I realized that this may be wrong, but I wanted it, wanted him, so badly.

A few days after our little moment, I was still feeling a little shy about expressing myself to Zero like that. And I'm pretty sure everyone knew it too. Everytime I would stand next to Zero I would get nervous and try to move away from him just enough to calm myself down. Call me childish but I'm sorry that's just how I am. After we supervised the switch over, I headed straight back to my room to catch up on some homework. More really to catch up on some sleep. The past couple of days have been pretty calm and collected so I thought to myself I deserve more sleep. When I opened my door, I immediately threw off my top layer of clothing on the floor and proceed to my dresser in search of something more comfortable. While searching through my stuff I happened to look up into my vanity mirror and seen a shiny item on my desk. It wasn't there before I left this morning so someone didn't want me to see them place it there. I quickly threw on a tank top and shorts and practically ran to this mysterious item. When I picked it up I seen that is was my favorite chocolate bar. I was so excited about chocolate I barely seen the note that was beside it. "Here, this is for making me feel an emotion the other day. Z" It was a nice gesture for him to thank me like that and it was so sweet of him to remember what my favorite chocolate was. Sometimes Zero astonishes me with the little things he does, the more he does them, the more I fall in love with him.

From that day on is when I knew in my heart that loved Zero and never wanted to be apart from him. I would catch myself paying close attention to him, I tried not to be stalkerish but I noticed the little things he would change every day. I also noticed that Zero would stare at me, at first it thought it was kind of strange for him to act that way. I thought it was just in my head but the more time we spent together the more obvious it was. There would be times where I would try to catch him in the act but I was always too late. Zero is very fast when it came to being sneaky. I have only caught him twice, and he would turn every shade of red there was. I'm not going to lie that quick glances at me had a major effect on my self esteem. I'm pretty sure I convinced myself that he needed me in every way possible. I would often play with the idea that one day Zero would become a true vampire and he would no longer need to feed.

Yes, when I first found out that Zero was a vampire, a level E at that, I was very upset. Not the fact that he was a vampire but that he didn't trust me enough to tell me what was going on with that part of his life. That really pissed me off to no end. I mean we spent most of our childhood together, we knew each other like the back of our hands, and Zero still chose to keep me out of the loop. Even Kaname knew what was going on, I know that it wasn't his business to tell, but someone could have at least gave me a heads up. After I found out about Zero and the vampire world, I decided that I needed and wanted to keep Zero around me, I know it's kinda selfish but he was all I really had. I know I have the Headmaster but an adult didn't know what was really going on in the teenage world. Sometimes it can be scary not having a friend that wasn't around my age. So that's the main reason why I choose to give him my blood when he needs it, now the other reasons were just as important too. I truly enjoyed his company, his tutoring lessons were very helpful and his small gestures were greatly appreciated. It showed me that he really did care about me, even if it was something small. It took alot for Zero to do a small gesture for me, well what I really mean was it is VERY rare. And it can be anything from buying me my favorite candy to a handwritten note left in my room. But from where we started at to now, I'd say he has come a long way.

 _A few days later..._

It was friday evening and the weekend was approaching fast. I was so ready to be done with the weekly patrols. Most of the students, day and night classes, left campus to go home and spend the weekend with their loved ones. Yay me, I get to stay here and look at the empty grounds. As I'm getting ready to start the final patrol, father called me to his office to inform me of a 'situation'. So before I started my patrol I dragged my ass up to father's office to see what he needed. With no surprise he had chosen me to go and find Zero for an important meeting. "Yuuki, I know I ask a lot from you when it comes to him but let's be honest, you would find him faster than I would." Father rolled his eyes at his own comment. "Yes I know but I hate looking for him when he doesn't want to be found." I said with a heavy sigh. Zero liked to disappear whenever he was needed for anything. It always irritated me when father assumed I knew exactly where Zero was at any given moment. Father sounded upbeat when I halfway agreed to look for him. "You always say that you and Zero know each other like the back of your hand." I rolled my eyes and turned towards the door "Maybe I should stop saying stuff like that so I don't have to look for him all the time." Father laughed at me and I shut the door behind me. I started making a mental list of where I knew he would possibly be, the horse stables were always my first choice, Zero never seems to leave that place whenever he gets a chance to stray that way.

With my destination in mind, I made my way outside of the main building. I started heading towards the back end of the school. The stables were a ways from campus and I had about and hour before I had to start patrols, I was running on hope that Zero would be there tending to his horse. Now I'm a pretty slow person so if I was going to find him in less than an hour, I was going to have to start running. I hated running anywhere so Zero is going to have to pay for this. As I jogged up to the stables, out of breath and sweaty, I took a quick look around and there was no movement anywhere. Usually when Zero takes care of White Lily he has her out of her stall and walking around freely. There was no sign of White Lily being let out of her stall meant that there was no Zero around either. Just to make sure that he wasn't taking a nap I took a walk through the entire stables. Ever single horse that was in that stable came straight up to me and wanted some 'lovins', except for Zero's horse. She always gave me trouble but I wasn't the only one. That was until Zero came along and she seem to attached herself to him. He was the only one that could get close enough to touch her, so by father's command White Lily was his responsibility. I stopped when she came in my sight, and openly I asked her "Have you seen Zero. I can't find him." As if she knew what I was saying she whinnied and turned away from me. So he hasn't been here all day since White Lily was made at him too. "Huh" was the only word I could muster, and I immediately turned around and started heading towards the school. Cursing Zero under my breath, he knows that I don't like running around looking for him like a lost puppy.

The second place for me to look was the courtyard right by the school. Zero was there every now and then and it was a long shot to find him there. I never really knew why he chose that spot, there are a lot of trees on campus and every single one of them have thick fluffy grass underneath them so why was this specific tree to special. This tree he sat at was a rather tall tree and it did seem the patch of grass was extra fluffy and always grew in that one spot. So I think I can see his favoritism. On warm sunny days he always seemed to spend his time here and fall asleep under that tree. I tried to join him a few times, but to me it was uncomfortable to just sit and relax. Sometimes I would pass by the courtyard on patrol and see him asleep under that tree, thinking to myself that I need to be extra quiet. Most likely he hasn't slept well from his nightmares and I wasn't going to be one to disturb him. I closed in on the school buildings that surrounded the courtyard and I slowed my pace. Still reminding myself to be quiet so I wouldn;t wake him up if he was asleep over under that tree. But as I suspected he was not there, I was disappointed in not having a easy task of find him but that just wouldn't be Zero. Something would be wrong in the world if I found Zero on the first try. Now he was slowly starting to get on my nerves, don't get me wrong, I was trying to not to let it bother me. I really, really just wanted to get this last patrol done and over with and go back to my room and get some much needed sleep. It's kind of hard to function when sleep is the only thing that is on your mind. Now I had one more option as to where he could be, his own room in boys dorm. If he wasn't there at all I was giving up and go straight back to my room to crash, and forget the patrol, if they found Zero he can sure as hell take over the last patrol for me. So he better be there or I am going to explode.

As I made my way to the boys dorm, I was starting to get more and more annoyed at Zero. This was not like him at all to be back in his room this early. Here lately he seemed off, I wonder what has been bugging him, has this meeting been on his mind. Maybe I need to talk to him just to make sure that he is calmed down enough for this meeting. As I approached his door I noticed that it was slightly cracked open, aha finally he was somewhere I could find him. I can now drag him back to father for making me chase him all over the campus. So without thinking I stormed straight in and I froze in my track when I seen a very handsome, very naked Zero. He was drying his hair with nothing but a towel around his neck, when he heard me gasp it was like he froze too. We both stood there with eyes on each other, not wanting to make a sudden movement. Zero finally cleared his throat "Ahem, Uh Yuuki what are you doing." With the sudden loudness of his voice my eyes instantly went straight to his bear back, I tried my hardest to move or even turn away but I just couldn't. It seemed like an eternity before my body responded to any of my brain signals to flee or turn around. Then all at once I quickly moved and my face instantly burned red with blush. I finally covered my eyes with my hands, more so to try and hide my red cheeks. I had to say something so I shouted. "Zero! What the hell?" Looking through my fingers, Zero still didn't move a muscle to try and cover himself up. In a clam tone he said "This is my private room Yuuki. I figured you would have knocked on the door like you always do." He added a twisted smile on his face to make the situation a little bit awkward. As soon as I seen that smile I knew he was trying to test me."Oh you think this is funny Zero! You knew the Headmaster needed you for a meeting today! So you knew I would be looking for you!" I tried to calm myself but nothing was working. Zero had the nerve to throw another smirk at me. "Well if that meeting was so important then the Headmaster should have came for me himself, don't you think." He said with a small chuckle. I crossed my arms and raised my eyebrow towards Zero, "Next time I'll let father know to fetch you himself then."

While still standing in the same place he took the towel from around his neck and rifled his wet silver hair. As if to try and tease me, he brought the towel down from his hair and very slowly wrapped it around his waist. I seen him attempt to tightened it but after letting go it just fell down loosely and stopped right above the slight V in his stomach. He turned towards me and very slowly started making his way over to me. I started to panic, I never thought that he would come at me naked. I was so nervous, I didn't know a single thing about _that_ kind of stuff. I mean I haven't had my first kiss yet and here he was coming towards me with nothing but a towel between us. Zero then walked past me and close the door behind me. He looked over his shoulder and smoothly said "You know Yuki I'm still trying to get dressed, so you could at least close the door behind you so nobody else can see in." Coming out of my panic attack I just barely registered what he said to me. "Yeah ok, I'm sorry Zero, I'm still kinda in shock from barging in on you like this." I said with a shy voice. "What. Yuuki I know this is not the first time that you've seen me like this. There have been times where I've been practically naked and you still didn't bat an eye." Zero started to sound confused with my current actions and emotions. "Well this time it's a little different Zero. I'm not really sure what to think of it actually." I said as I shuffled my feet back and forth. "Oh really, how so Yuuki. Is there something that you want to tell me." He tried to tease me with a small smile. "Well Zero that is really for me to know and for you to find out. EVENTUALLY." I spat with a smirk. "Ok then, I'll have to get that info from you one way or another." He narrowed his eyes at me. "I'll take that challenge Zero but you must know I'm a master at keeping secrets." I gave him a small smirk of my own. I then rushed over to his door trying not to give him time to answer me back. I reached for the door knob, I turned my head towards him and softly said. "I'll be waiting for you out here. Please hurry up, I have to return you to father before I can go back to my room and get some decent sleep." I then turned the door knob and pushed the door open. I tried to gracefully to walk out of his room but bumped the door frame and almost knocked myself to the floor. I picked myself up from the frame and swiftly shut his door. When I heard the soft click of his door shutting behind me I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding in. I leaned up against the wall and cover my face with my hands, I was still too embarrassed to admit what happened in his room. I didn't want to replay the scene over in my mind, but it automatically happened and at a slower pace. My mind wanted to make sure I caught every detail in that shocking 10 minutes that I was in his room. I don't know if it was me but the way he handled himself in such a calm way, I'm starting to think that he is trying to catch my attention. I can tell you one thing, It sure as hell worked!


	2. Dark times, Dark Places

_**A/N:**_

 _ **Hello all, thank you for reading my first ever fanfic. My story is comes from the heart and mind, there is no inbetween at this point. I'm hoping that all of you who choose to read my story is excited as much as I am. First off, the characters are more on the OC side. I am NOT going to keep the characters I use in the personality they are assigned. Kind of out of the box if you will. Secondly, my stories I type will vary . Some chapters will be bursting with details and others not so much. Thirdly, please BE WARNED I will be touching up to the chapters as I go along. Please bare with me. I like to add on or change as the story goes on.**_

 _ **Please review as much as possible. And more than one review is welcomed. I am doing this to work on my writing and testing my skills as I go on the wonderful journey.**_

 _ **Thank you for reading and enjoy!**_

 _Sometime I don't know what's wrong with me. I have my bad days and most of the time I have good days but what are days any more. I feel like a empty shell, when everyone around me is having the time of their lives and I am just here. In this deep abyss that I can't get myself out of, the more I try the more harder it is. I am just a worthless piece of shit and not entitled to anything with happiness attached. Not even Her, I am glad that I can't have her. Because a fuck up like me doesn't deserve a beautiful person like Her. I don't deserve anyone not even my own family... My family was taken from me for a good reason, there is nothing I deserve in this fucked up world. Maybe I should end it all, it's not like there is anyone here that will miss me or even love me for that matter. I know for a fact the She don't love me, even if she knew what I really was. I understand why she wouldn't love me, a filthy half breed, a fucking leech, a beast in human form, a blood sucking vampire. Because all we do is take what isn't our. And She will not be apart of that, I promise._

I opened my eyes and quickly survey my surroundings, my room filled with just enough light for me to see everything. Nothing out of the ordinary just a pile of Yuuki's stuff scattered all over my room as usual. I swear that girls is messier than anyone I know. I try to get up but my body is too stiff to even move a muscle. I try a few times to move around but I really didn't want to get out of bed so I give up my efforts and just lie there staring into the ceiling. Wondering if I was dreaming a beautiful dream or a wonderful nightmare. Pfft, this self petty mood was starting to get on my nerves. Have I become so weak that I need to have a self loathing phase everytime I get a little thirsty. I wonder how long I've been out this time. Well by the looks of my room Yuuki has been here for a while. There is a chair sitting next to my bed with a pillow and blanket on the floor. And there is a full cup of water on my night stand, I was guessing for me because she don't like drinking water.

There are snacks scattered all over my room along with the empty wrappers, so I'm pretty sure it's been a good three or four days. After about 10 minutes of not moving I try to pull myself together and prepare for some unwanted and annoying pain. I take a few deep breaths and force myself to sit up on the bed, but when i do my body is screaming at me to stop. I bite my lip and force myself up, as I come to a steady stop the room starts spinning and I'm losing my balance. I fall back into the bed and at the same time my door slowly opens. As she walks in she seeing me fall, she throws the tray of food on the nightstand as quickly as she can and darts towards me. She tries to catch my head before it hits the pillow which is silly because it a damn pillow, it's not like i'm gonna bust my head open.

Once I'm still again and the room stops spinning, I focus my eyes on everything around me and I see her sitting next to me on my bed. She leaning over my head with a worried look on her pretty face. "Yuuki, what are you doing?" I asked softly. "Zero you were falling and I didn't want you to hit your head." She said in the softest tone I have ever heard. "Yuuki, I am on my bed and my head landed on my pillow I'm pretty sure I would have been alright." I laughed at her. "I know Zero but you have been out for about five days now, I was getting kinda worried that you would never wake up." she said with a small frown on her face. "Damn it's been five days since I've blacked out? Who found me and where was I at?" I started to panic.

"Don't worry you were under a tree in the courtyard and I'm the one that found you." She said softly. "I was waiting for father to meet us for dinner, when I walked around the corner to look for you. When I first seen you I thought you were just sleeping, I tried talking to you but you didn't answer me. I figured you were trying to play a joke on me so I shook your shoulder as hard as I could but it didn't phase you. After a few minutes of trying to get you to wake up, father popped up around the corner looking for the both of us. I told him that you wouldn't wake up and that it might be a joke, so he tired as well and still nothing. Just by the look on his face I knew it was serious, but he reassured me that you would be alright. It took a little bit, but me and father managed to pick you up and walk you back to your room. But you know I'm weak, so we only made it to your old childhood room, and you have been here since. I didn't want to leave your side, so father let me stay here with you so I can keep an eye on you."

After she gave me the rundown of what happened she seemed a little nervous. "Oh one more thing Zero, I kinda had to force you to feed from me, I only did it when father wasn't around and he wasn't gone much so if you are still hungry then you can take however much you need." Yuuki said shyly as she turned red. "Force fed me huh. I'm sure you might have loved that. Plus I feel fine for now, I'll let you know if that changes in the future." I chuckled a little. "What! Don't be silly Zero. I was just trying to help out." She said quickly. "Anyway, now that you are awake and alert I'm gonna go get father so he can take a look at you." Yuuki got up off my bed and was headed to my door, I quickly reached for her hand and held it tight. She stopped and looked back at me with a slightly confused face. We both stared at each other for a few minutes, I just wanted to tell her. But I couldn't, I wouldn't, she don't need to know the truth yet. I want her to make the first move.

I had to say something, anything but what I really felt. "Well I guess so but if he starts trying to give me hugs or kisses I'm going to get angry." I spat to save my ass. She began to smile and light up that I was returning to my hateful ways again, she let go of my hand and walked out of my room to get the Headmaster.

As I was left alone with my thoughts I really wanted to tell her the truth. About the way she smiles at me, it's like the butterflies, which I thought were gone forever, jumped to life and took over my entire body. In reality she was the reason why I chose to live, with one look from her she could bring me to my knees. And that I am completely infatuated with this human girl, and I have no self control when I am around her and I know that sounds strange but she has a hold on my like no one else does.

As I am completely wrapped in myself, I hear the door open and when I look over I see the Headmaster peeking in from behind the door. I let out a small sigh and hope for the best. He walks up to my bed and reaches for my forehead to check for a fever. "I'm fine Headmaster, I just have to get my body moving again and I'll be okay." I tried to sound hateful but that really doesn't phase him anymore. Without a word he reaches for my hands and helps me up to a sitting position. This time the room didn't spin and I could control my body more. And with an unexpected heave I was standing up beside my bed. "There you go Zero, my goodness that was the only time that I can remember that you kinda sorta asked for my help. Now lets see you walk around the room just in case you need a little more help." The Headmaster smiled and let go of me. But I could already tell my body was back to normal so I walked straight to my door and opened it up. I looked over my shoulder and gave a smirk and said "I'm fine now so leave me alone." I then slammed the door and walked down the hall to the bathroom. I hated any contact with the headmaster that involved emotions, I knew I was weak but I was NOT going to show her that side of me.

As I walk down the hallway to head to the bathroom I see Yuuki come down the opposite end of the hallway with some clean clothes and a towel in her hand. She is smiling and humming a sweet little tune I haven't heard her sing since we were little kids. I slowed down my pace to get an eye full of her with that beautiful smile. In her own little world, she nearly ran right into me, not that I minded but I was still in a bad mood from father trying to help me. "Can you watch where you're going. You almost knocked yourself down again." Yuuki looked up at me with huge surprised eyes and mumbled softly. "Oh my god Zero I'm sorry. I didn't see you walking in front of me." she shifted a little and cleared her throat. "Oh here Zero I brought you some clean clothes and a fresh towel. It's been a few days since you've cleaned up and I just wanted to help out." She then handed me the clothes that were in her hand and smiled. With me still hot headed from father earlier I grabbed them from her hand, walked right into the bathroom and slammed the door behind me. After I did that I felt a bit guilty for pushing her away. If she knew how I truly felt about her then her little gesture would not have gone unnoticed. One day she will know how much she means to me, I'll get the courage to tell her.

 _Months later..._

Today... Today is the day I have a big meeting with the Headmaster. I don't know what's so big about it but then again we don't want to tell the whole world that I am a creature of the night. All I know is that the night class is doing a special study on other vampires like me, the one who can't take the original blood tablets. I'm a special kind of fuck up, I mean there nothing else to it. As of right now I am in no mood to be around anybody before I have to meet with those bloodsuckers and let them judge me. Just thinking about makes my skin crawl, and the only person in the world who can fix that is nowhere to be seen. Just talking to Yuuki will instantly calm me down, I try to halfway search for her but she is really hard to find when she wonders about. I need to at least see her or hold her or just insult her to make everything better. There I go again, sounds like a love struck teen who can't control his hormones.

For the next hour and a half I am aimlessly wander every way she might have gone. I mean being a vampire can only help me so much, I smell her everywhere, like she has been all around the campus all at once and I really didn't have much time to find her. I gave up looking for her and before I had to have that stupid meeting with the people I absolutely hate, I forced myself to head back to my dorm room to take a shower. A worthless attempt to calm myself down enough to be on a sane level.

With my decision in mind I turn towards the boys dorm and start walking at a fast pace. Just as I came a bit closer to one of the school buildings I seen a group of girls that were taking double looks at me. I hate it when I catch anyone's attention, especially females, the only person I want to notice me is Yuuki. That is one of the main reasons I act so hostile, to avoid as much human contact as possible. And to not have a human girl try to attach herself to me. Before I could turn a corner to avoid them I heard them whispering shit that I did not want to hear. "Oh my god Zero is so fucking hot." "I bet he would be so good in bed." "I wonder if he is a virgin." "I can make him smile once I'm done with him." Hearing such things roll off their tongues like that were so foreign to me, I never cared for a 'sexy' appearance and I sure as hell didn't plan on looking like that. I will admit that I have thought about it once or twice with Yuuki but if you asked me in person I would deny the whole thing.

Coming back to reality, seeing those girl drool over me made me feel kinda uncomfortable so I cut them a sideways glance. Half hoping they would get spooked and leave me alone, that was the plan at least. After my little gesture I realized that that was a huge nope, that look was only fuel to the fire."Holy shit I would let him plow me so hard." "I'm sure he would last so much longer than these other boys here." "Do you think he is into bondage." As some of the more older and experienced girls start to voice their thoughts aloud, I wanted to get out of their view as soon as possible.

I took a quick turn behind one of the buildings and forced myself to walk a little bit faster. And from a distance I hear all the girls in a panic, "Where did he go?," those stupid girls need to get a different obsession besides me.

As I reached the boys dorm I began to let myself relax a little, then it hit me almost like a wall, her smell was so strong even a human could tell she came through this way. She was running with urgency, probably looking for me. The Headmaster most likely sent her to look for me, pfft, figures he tires to keep a short leash on me. By the direction she was running, she was headed to the courtyard. I knew she always made a mental list of where to find me, first the stables, the courtyard, then her next stop would be my room in the boys dorm. I thought to myself, by how slow she runs, I'll have plenty of time to have a shower and be ready by the time she shows up to my room. So instead of chasing after her I went ahead and headed to my room to take a much needed shower...

 _...Click..._

The soft click of the door shutting between us. That click was the only thing I could grab onto to, to remind myself that this was reality and she was here. Yuuki was here, she was here in my room, with me naked. Do you know how many times I've fantasized about that moment. How many similar scenarios that played over and over in my head until I brought myself to ecstasy. I wanted my inner beast to take over and keep her here locked away forever, to be my personal slave. I knew in my heart that she wanted me to take over but my mind knew that she had to make the first move. When I came into my room I swear I shut and locked my door, but then again I have been lost in my own world trying to have a sane mind for this fucking meeting. Either way my door was literally open for anyone to barge right in. So that was kinda my fault. I'm pretty sure I have made my feelings clear whether I wanted to or not and I hope she would respond to my actions in a good way.

I have been sitting on my bed for the past 15 minutes trying to get her out of my head. I don't think I'll be able to go anywhere after that happened. Not the fact that I had her in my room but that I basically showed her how I really felt about her. I mean she has seen me half way naked and never said one word about it. Her actions earlier, there was something very different about her. Like she really wanted me to. After a few moments to myself I remembered what she had told me before she left.

" _I'll be waiting for you out here. Please hurry up, I have to return you to father before I can go back to my room and get some decent sleep."_ she has the softest voice in that moment that I almost didn't hear her.

I jumped up and started rushing around the room finding every bit of clothing to put on. Since

I didn't have to wear my school uniform it was a little easier to throw random items on. With in 30 seconds I was running out of the door. As I came to the lobby of the boys dorm I seen her standing by one of the windows. Just by the quick glance I took she was smiling about something, it made me wonder what she was thinking about. "Hey Yuuki are you ready?'" I said a little sturn. Which made her jump at the sudden sound. "Uh yeah I'm ready. Now let's hurry before father makes me do another useless task." she said in her usual cheery voice. I nodded then followed behind her and we both headed towards the Headmaster's building. The 20 minute walk to Father's building was rather quiet. Yuuki usually starts any conversations with me but this time no a word from her. It started making me feel a bit nervous. I tried to shake it off but I knew if I didn't say anything now I would have it on my mind during that entire fucking meeting.

I tried the apology first. "I didn't mean to push myself like that on you. But if you don't want to be around me any more then I understand." I gave her a few moments to say something or to make me leave her alone. I kept glancing back towards her. Not one movement from her. Nothing. "Yuuki, I'm going to be honest with you. I don't want you to stay away from me, to keep to yourself. I want you to come to me anytime you want to talk about anything. I wanna have that kind of relationship with you, something that will turn into something better. But if you don't want anything to do with me then tell me. Do you feel anything towards me. Love, hate, or disgust. Please tell me, I need to know how you feel about me, whether I should stay around you or leave everything behind." That sentence was the hardest thing I have ever had to say in my entire life. I gave her a fucking choice for me to either stay alive or drop dead.

As we continued to walk she didn't say anything, she didn't move away from me, she didn't speed up, she did nothing but walk beside me. Yuuki didn't speak one single word to me, nothing. Not a yes or a fucking no. Or a hey don't fucking talk to me. My Yuuki was giving me the silent treatment, the last time tried that it almost killed me. I can't stand not talking to her or pestering her, I can show it on the outside but on the inside I'm a fucking wreck. To be honest her treatment was breaking my already damaged heart. I just need her to give me a fucking answer, or a damn nod, or a fucking ok, I am going to lose my shit before we get to this stupid fucking meeting.

By the time I seen the Headmaster's main building I have given up all hope, for myself, for love and for living. Because without her there was no future for me. Then I realized that I AM what those blood suckers say about me, I am a fucking weak bastard that needs to be taken 'care of'. What is the point in this stupid fucking meeting. If there is no future for me then why do I have to be a guinea pig for them to 'save' the other vampires that can't take the blood tablets. I need to rid the world of those disgusting things so why not start with me. But I can't leave Yuuki, I am the one who tries to keep her out of trouble. I may not be her knight in shining armor, but I can damn sure try. So I said one last thing that may have jolted her. "Yuuki, this meeting is very important to me and my well being. If I am not 100% mentally ready for the dissection I am about to receive by these fucking blood suckers I'm not sure how much longer I have. So can I please get some kind of answer from you. A yes, no or fuck off." I raised my voice a bit at the very end to get my point across and turned myself away from her. This weakness bullshit was getting on my damn nerves and I never want to look weak in front of her. Then it happened, I felt her grab my arm. It wasn't a firm grip but more of a gentle squeeze to get my attention. She then pulled me around to face her, to look her in the eye and when I did the only thing I seen on her face was that beautiful smile she always had.

"I can't give you a straight answer right now because my emotions are a complete mess and if I were to tell you how I feel I want it to come from my heart." Yuuki looked at me and moved her hand down from my arm to grab my hand. "Yuuki all I want to know right now is if you want me to stay around you or to leave you alone." I said as I raised my voice. "Zero I never want you to leave me. Just know that I feel more safe and comfortable around you more than anyone else. Even more than Kaname." After she said his name her smile turned into a deep frown. She lowered her head down and let her hair cover most of her face. I hate when she speaks his name that is changes her aura. I took my finger under her chin and brought her face up to look at me, I then gave her one of my real smiles. "Yuuki you don't know how much that means to me, for you to say that you want me around you all the time." I then let go of her hand and started walking up the steps and to the door. Before I opened it I turned towards her and softly said something I wanted to tell her for the longest time "I'm so glad that Kaname is slowly starting to fade from your heart. Now it's my turn to be your savior, the one you look up to and the only one you love so dearly." I opened the door and walked in and quickly shut the door behind me. I didn't want to give her a chance to react to what I just said. For now I was satisfied with her semi answer and that was all I needed for my decision to stick around and tell her how I really feel. It's going to be soon, I just need to put my words together so it will made sense to her when the time comes.

I pulled myself from the door and made my way up to the Headmaster's office to 'check' in. As I walked closer I could smell someone in there with father. Then it hit me, it was Kaname, I put my guard up and I knocked on the door as hard as I could. Without his answer I let myself in. Kaname quickly turned around with a sour look on his face, I'm pretty sure he knew I was close by, he always has that disgusted look on his face. I chuckled and let a small smirk slip on my lips. "Oh Zero, you finally decided to show up. I hope Yuuki didn't keep you too long." he spat at me. "Well Kaname if you must know. I always enjoy her company as much as I could, she is that important to me. She should never go unnoticed or unappreciated by anyone. Not even you." I raised my eyebrow at him and chuckled. Kaname's face seem to stiffen up just a bit. Jealousy maybe or hate I couldn't tell. Either way it such a sight to see that I got under his skin. "Are we going to get on with this meeting or what. I really don't feel like waiting around forever." I turned around and headed out the door. Within seconds both Kaname and the Headmaster followed behind me.

As we walked towards the moon dorm, father had caught up to me and pulled me aside. He explained this meeting to me in a little more detail to clear the air or to sorta keep me in check. He stared off with a smile and a soft but stern voice. "Zero this meeting is going to be basically research for them. I'm going to be honest Kaname has told me that some of the aristocrats can be ruthless. They will bring up things that will force you to become uncomfortable and it will test your mental strength. I hope you have a clear mind because any worry will cause this research to become invalid. Since these vampires are aristocrats they don't understand the struggles you have to go through. It is highly likely they will act and treat you like your nothing. They don't know what it's like to have to starve because they can't take the blood substitute. They don't know what it's like to be borderline level E. But even though they don't know your side of the story, what you go through on a daily basis. Zero I still need to be on your best behavior. I still want to keep you around as long as I can, and now is not the time to bring up the past. I really hope you understand what I am trying to do. To be able to live with me and Yuuki and not have to worry about falling to a level E would be a fantastic way to live. And whatever research they come up with, it's going to help some other innocent victim come to terms with being a vampire. To still be able to be around their loved ones without wanting to kill them. Just a better situation all around."

"Father, I have a lot at stake here and I've already cleared my thoughts. I'm going to do the best that I can to try and not fuck this up for me or anyone else." I gave him a real smile and instantly regretted it. I could see father getting ready to explode with joy just by that stupid smile he always had when we made him proud. But then his demeanor changed, Kaname was nearing us and I think father felt him too. As I looked from the corner of my eyes a seen a dark figure standing behind a tree. I'm not entirely sure who this person was or if it was Kaname, I couldn't tell. A few moments later the figure disappeared, and just at that exact moment Kaname appeared and cleared his throat. "Well it's time for this meeting to begin. Zero are you ready for this life changing research." I nodded with agreement and followed both Kaname and the Headmaster towards the building that held the aristocrats. The building was nearing and I need to prepare myself.

 _Okay Zero, you can do this. Breathe in and breathe out. Find your peace. Concentrate on nothing but yourself. You can do this. Just answer the questions they have, let them poke you with needles. Let them call you names. Words are just words right? As long as you don't let it get to you. They don't know who you really are. They don't have to know the real you right. Yuuki is the only one who can truly know you. Breathe in and breathe out Zero. breathe in.. breathe out.. Breathe in.. breathe out.. In… out… in… out…_

We neared the heavy doors of the moon dorm. I felt nothing. No hopefulness, no happiness, no nervousness. I think I found my inner peace, I was ready to get this over with. I honestly wanted to move on with the weakness bullshit I went through every single day of my life since my parents were killed. I was ready for something new, and whatever these aristocrats were going to throw at me I'm going to take it just for her. For Yuuki. Kaname opened the door and a bright light instantly blinded me. I stood in the doorway waiting for my eyes to adjust to the sudden light. Then I felt someone push on my back. Forcing me to move forward and step into the room. My eyes were still trying to adjust and I heard whispering. Lots of words but I couldn't make out what they were saying. "Sit." was the only word I heard. After that, silence. Like everyone held their breath. I was helped into a chair, my shirt was removed and my hands were strapped down. My eyes were finally adjusting and as I looked around the room, none of the faces I seen were anyone I knew. As I looked straight ahead I seen Kaname staring at me. With a blank stare. Something about that look was a bit off but I pushed it out of my mind. Then all of a sudden. He smiled. At me. Then he whispered something. When I read his lips I'm pretty sure he said "Good Luck." Then he turned around and walked away. I closed my eyes and waited.

For instructions. For questions, for something. But I got nothing. Nothing but silence. One sentence broke the silence. "Shall We Begin." I kept my eyes closed. Controlling my breathing was my only thought at the moment. What happened next should have scared anyone who was sitting in that chair but I was prepare for anything that they do to me. In one swift motion, a bag was thrown over my head and was pinned to the chair. _Breathe in… Breathe out..._ My legs were tied to the chair. _Breathe in… Breathe out…_ Needles began to pierce my skin in what felt like every inch of my body. _Breathe in... Breathe out… I can do this. For her. For Yuuki. I can do this. I will do this._


End file.
